Talking to children from an early age about justice and equity – as well as racism and prejudice – shows them that differences are a good thing
From history books to playgrounds, one of the most damaging things we do is forget that others are just as human as we are. It’s at the root of some truly awful moments in history. Dehumanisation comes in different forms – from comparing people to animals to thinking they don’t feel emotions as deeply as we do.
One of the most chilling aspects of this is that it makes people indifferent to others’ suffering. “Dehumanization makes possible the everyday violence and large-scale atrocities that observers enable through their indifference,” psychology researchers write. “It allows us to refuse to help and to sacrifice others for the greater good because we are apathetic to their suffering. It undermines reconciliation following conflict because there is no point to rebuilding relationships with those we think of as animals.”
And it all starts much earlier than you might think. Even babies show in-group preferences – meaning they tend to favour people who look like them. If left unchecked, these biases can morph into full-blown prejudice.
So what can we do? The good news is, quite a lot. Here are eight evidence-based ways to help children recognise the humanity in others.
1. We all have biases – here’s why that matters
One of the biggest mistakes well-meaning adults make is assuming that if they don’t show any bias, their children won’t develop any either. But that’s not how it works, says Altheria Caldera, a senior lecturer at American University who researches racial equity.
Even infants notice skin colour differences and develop preferences. In many societies, especially in the UK and US, a preference for whiteness is deeply embedded. “It becomes part of the air we breathe,” says Caldera. “And no one, regardless of your race – whether you’re white or not – is immune from picking up on this hierarchy or these beliefs. Even when parents think they are doing a good job of shielding children from their biases, children can pick them up.”
Instead of pretending bias doesn’t exist, we need to be proactive in recognising and discussing it.
2. Talking about race makes a difference – so let’s do it
Children notice differences. If we don’t talk about them, they might assume it’s because these differences are something to be ashamed of or superior about.
“One of the ways that we perpetuate racism is by ignoring it, instead of addressing it head on,” says Caldera. “Racial awareness isn’t a bad thing – it is not a bad thing when children can recognize differences in skin color.”
She recalls her young step-granddaughter once asking, “Why do they call you ‘Black’ if your skin is really brown?” These are the conversations we should be encouraging, not shutting down. The goal is to build what she calls “racial literacy” – the ability to talk about and understand race and racism.
3. Use everyday moments to start the conversation
If we want children to understand race and fairness, we have to make space for conversations in their daily lives.
Not all kids will naturally bring up these topics, but that doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about them. If they don’t ask questions themselves, look for teachable moments—a news story, a book, or something that happens at school. These everyday interactions make difficult conversations feel more natural.
For example, one day after crèche, my three-year-old son suddenly announced that he couldn’t play with his best friend anymore because his skin tone was different. His friend was from India, and my son seemed unsure about this difference, as if it made their friendship impossible. Instead of brushing it off, we took the opportunity to go for a walk through our vibrant, multicultural neighbourhood in Lausanne. We pointed out the range of skin tones all around us—something totally normal, something he saw every day without realising it. That simple conversation made sense to him, and his best friend stayed his best friend.
4. Start early
These discussions need to be age-appropriate, but they can start young. Caldera suggests introducing race and equity at the same time as other values, like kindness and fairness. “You’re sharing your values in many aspects of life, so why not share them in terms of justice and equity as well?” she says.
5. Build real friendships with kids from different backgrounds
Words are important, but actions matter too. “One of the ways that I recommend that parents create or cultivate racial literacy with their child is to be cognizant of who you’re surrounding yourselves with, and being purposeful about creating a diverse friend group,” says Caldera.
That said, diversity shouldn’t be forced. “Am I genuinely interested in getting to know these people? Or using them to my advantage?” she suggests asking yourself. The relationships should be real, not performative. And thanks to social media, even those in less diverse areas can connect with people from different backgrounds.
6. Choose books, toys, and TV shows that reflect a range of people
Take a walk through a children’s bookshop or toy aisle and you’ll notice that a lot of what’s on offer – particularly in Europe and the US – features mostly white characters. This subtly reinforces the idea that white is the default.
Representation in books, TV, and toys matters. Research has shown that reading stories about characters from different backgrounds can reduce prejudice.
“Well-selected books and videos may reduce prejudice among children.”
In one study, white British children who read books about refugee children and discussed their personal traits (e.g., they liked animals) were more likely to describe them in positive terms. They didn’t start thinking less of their own group – just more positively about others.
7. Ask children about what characters are feeling
Want to take things up a notch? Go beyond just exposing children to diverse characters – help them relate to them on a deeper level.
In one study, children heard stories about immigrant children. Some were encouraged to talk about the characters’ behaviours, while others focused on what the characters might be thinking or feeling. Afterwards, the children were given stickers and told that an immigrant child had lost theirs. The kids who had discussed feelings shared more stickers.
Helping children empathise with individual characters, rather than viewing them as a generic group, seems to be key.
8. Why celebrating differences helps kids thrive
Creating an environment where diversity is actively celebrated has lasting benefits. Kids who are encouraged to explore and embrace different identities tend to have better self-esteem, better grades, and even fewer symptoms of depression.
The Identity Project, for example, helped teenagers explore their own and others’ ethnic backgrounds. After just eight sessions, participants had a stronger sense of self and were happier, more engaged students.
The takeaway
Helping children see the humanity in others isn’t just about preventing prejudice – it helps them become well-rounded, empathetic, and emotionally healthy individuals. And who wouldn’t want that?
Next time a child asks a question about race or fairness, pause before brushing it off. That moment could be the start of shaping a more empathetic, open-minded future.
Recommended book: Since we talked about books above, check out this book we recommended on our blog a little while ago: This is our world
Source: inspired by this article on the Blog on Learning and Development (BOLD).
