Kerry Parnell: Can all the lockdown motivators get lost

Have a laugh, have a read. Kerry Parnell, who writes for the Daily Telegraph and Sunday Telegraph, thinks that it surely would be nice to learn a new language or master the art of macramé. But in her opinion, just getting from one day to the next during these uncertain times should also be considered an achievement.

Can all the lockdown motivators get lost: the last thing any of us is going to come out of this with is a new skill.

To date, I have not written a word of my best-selling novel; I have not learnt a new language, unless you count imaginative swearing substitutes in front of my kids. I have not Marie Kondo’d so much as my cutlery drawer; I have not learnt to meditate, or had candlelit date night dinners. I have not planted vegetables, or come up with a billion-dollar business plan. I have not created ambitious craft projects and documented them on Instagram, or spent hours rehearsing and filming a video of my family singing show tunes in the hope it goes viral, excuse the pun.

What I have done is desperately attempt to combine working from home with homeschooling and entertaining my kids (read: stopping a punch-up every 12 minutes), take a daily plod along the same route we’ve trodden for weeks, cook seemingly-endless meals and worry about needing a seemingly-endless supply of food while becoming increasingly paranoid about going inside a supermarket.

What with the worry about everything from sourcing toilet roll to our household finances and, oh you know, keeping the family safe, I have no available timeslots in my day to learn a new skill. Like online food deliveries, they’re fully booked for weeks.

So motivational gurus like the goon who posted on Twitter that if you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, business or more knowledge, you didn’t ever lack the time, you lacked the discipline, can quite simply do one. If you come out of this with your sanity, you’re winning.

Likewise to the competitive mums out-crafting each other with elaborate Easter creations and Gwyneth Paltrow issuing a bulletin of the best sex toys to use during lockdown, after sharing the fascinating insight that she and husband Brad Falchuk are sexually frustrated because of a lack of privacy.

What? Who in God’s name wants to get even closer to their other half right now? He’s never more than half a metre away as it is.

I’m in lockdown with a furloughed-from-work bloke who is spending his isolation period watching Kojak re-runs and two daughters under six who follow me around the house from 6am asking me to spell things, so all I’m currently fantasising about is a mini-break in the garden shed.

Today, for example, I dispatched him-always-indoors to babysit his children while I worked, only for World War III to immediately break out in the garden over a watering can. There was fighting, shouting, tears and endless requests for snacks. The kids were badly behaved too.

 It culminated in the four-year-old strapping on her helmet, mounting her bicycle and spectacularly slaloming down our sloping lawn into a fence. At this point, I re-furloughed my partner of his parenting duties and surrendered. Time spent working: 19 minutes.

Getting through lockdown is not a competitive sport – you don’t have to come out of it fitter or more fabulous. Whether you’re surrounded by kids, or doing it solo, it’s a struggle for everyone.

My advice: aim low, then you’ll never underachieve. And eat biscuits.

Source: we have found this article by Kerry Parnell at website of the Daily Telegraph Australia.

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