Messy kids are frustrating, particularly during family dinner time. But thankfully, there is a simple solution. If you’re fighting a battle over dinner mess, you should consider letting your kid win. Because not only is it adorable to see a kid grinning ear-to-ear while covered in breakfast, but also research links messy eating to a number of developmental benefits. So, the sooner you succumb to the slop, the sooner your kid will be complimenting you on the delicious meal … that they’ve rubbed into their hair.
Some parents hold off on letting babies self-feed during the early days of solid foods because, let’s face it, the mess can be overwhelming. But delaying self-feeding and not allowing little ones to explore food with their hands can mess (pun intended) with their natural feeding patterns and even lead to picky eating down the road.
Messy eating plays a big role in helping babies develop important skills, including how to eat properly and how to coordinate their mouths and hands. Here’s why embracing the chaos is worth it:
Babies Learn Through Touch
Babies are basically little scientists, using their sense of touch to explore everything around them. During the first year, their go-to method is simple: grab whatever is within reach and shove it in their mouths. It’s not just random behaviour—it’s how they figure out their world.
The fingertips, lips, and tongue are packed with sensory receptors, making them very very sensitive to touch. This means babies first get comfortable with new textures by touching them with their hands before trying them with their mouths. (Therapists call this “distal sensory acceptance,” but you don’t need to remember that term to get the idea.)
Letting babies touch, squish, and even smear their food gives them the confidence to try new things. Without that, they might hesitate to take the next step—actually eating it.
Babies Are Hardwired for Independence
Babies have a natural need to figure things out on their own—just watch any toddler proudly shout “me do it!” Whether they’re pulling on socks or tipping over a bowl of spaghetti, they’re exercising their drive for independence.
This independence is especially important when babies start exploring food. Giving them the freedom to touch, taste, and experiment at their own pace sets the stage for a healthy relationship with food. It also helps them tune into their hunger and fullness cues, which is a key part of lifelong healthy eating. The more freedom kids get at the dinner table, the more comfortable they’ll feel with mealtimes in general.
Getting Messy Builds Sensory Confidence
Let’s be real: over-sanitising and avoiding mess has made some kids think being dirty is bad. But when babies and toddlers aren’t exposed to different textures—whether it’s food, sand, or finger paint—they can become extra sensitive to touch. Ever met a kid who refuses to walk on grass or freaks out when their hands get sticky? That’s what can happen when they haven’t had the chance to explore textures early on.
Sensory-related challenges are becoming more common, but it’s easy to help. Letting kids get messy teaches them that new textures aren’t scary—they’re fun. Touching food with their hands (and even feet) helps them understand textures like “mushy,” “crunchy,” or “slimy.” The more they explore, the more likely they’ll be open to eating foods with those textures later on.
Self-Feeding Builds Coordination, Motor Skills and even Speech
Messy eating isn’t just about food—it’s also about developing important life skills. Hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills start with the simple act of bringing food to their mouths. These early skills eventually lead to bigger milestones like writing, tying shoes, or cutting with scissors.
The building blocks for these abilities start during that messy, glorious hand-to-mouth phase between 6 and 18 months. Encouraging self-feeding (and tolerating the mess that comes with it) helps kids develop these skills early and makes life easier for them later on.
Research has also shown that messy eating in a safe, dedicated space like the high chair helps toddlers build their vocabulary, as it helps them associate the names of things (aka the food) with their tactile experience. Imagine you’re 16 months old and staring down a cup of milk and a cup of glue. Sure, both look kind of similar, but how would you tell the difference just by looking? While solids are often defined and named by their shapes or features, non-solids are generally named according to their material, perceptual cues you take for granted but with which a 16-month-old has little experience. So the 16-month-old ends up poking and squeezing and throwing the contents of those 2 cups to figure out what they are dealing with. To know what it is, you have to get your hands in there, play with it, and get messy.
The Bottom Line
Messy mealtimes may not win any cleanliness awards, but they’re a goldmine for a baby’s development. Let them squish, smear, and explore—it’s how they grow. Yes, it’s messy. Yes, it’s worth it. And just avoid carpets at all costs.
Source: inspired by articles on fatherly.com and motherly.com